The selection of Schwarze products and its sweeper options is large. Really, really large. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly large it is. I mean, you may think our competitor’s selection of a left or right gutter broom is a lot, but that’s just peanuts compared to the Schwarze selection.

The best attempt to calculate the Schwarze sweeper selection recently showed that the total amount of possible unique combinations of sweeper options was possibly 8,008,797,933, which by a totally staggering coincidence is also the toll free phone number of Schwarze Industries in Huntsville, Alabama.

In 2007 however, Schwarze Industries invented the “Infinite Possibility Locator” system. This patent pending “Infinite Possibility Locator” is a wonderful new method of sorting out these enormous amounts of possibilities in mere seconds, without all that hassle of having to look around on the Schwarze Industries website for hours on end.

It was discovered by a lucky change, and then developed into a tool for the Schwarze.com website, and this briefly, is the story of its discovery.

The principle of sorting out small amounts of possibilities by simply hooking the logic circuits of a simple computation system to an artificial intelligent processing linguistics device suspended in a strong regenerative air motion producer were of course well understood; and such finite possibility demodulators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess’s undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.

Many respectable Schwarze engineers however, said they were not going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of sweeper engineering, but mostly because they didn’t get invited to those kinds of parties.

Another thing they couldn’t stand was the perpetual failure they encountered in trying to construct a system which could make sense of the infinite amount of possibilities the Schwarze products offered, and in the end they grumpily announced that such a system was virtually impossible.

Then, one day, a student engineer who had been left to sweep up the department after a particular unsuccessful party found himself reasoning this way:
If, he thought to himself, such a system is virtually impossible, than it must logically be an infinite impossibility. So all I have to do in order to make one is to work out exactly how impossible it is, feed that into the finite possibility demodulator … and turn it on!
He did this, and was rather startled to discover that he had managed to create the long-sough-after “Infinite Possibility Locator” out of thin air.

It startled him even more when just after he was awarded the Schwarze “Prize for Extreme Cleverness” he got lynched by a ramping mob of respectable engineers who had finally realized that the one thing they really couldn’t stand was a smarty-pants.